The Realization Delay

Quiet in the land where your knees knock your temples to pieces

I'm dying of thirst by the water fountains dying dying of thirst

And I can't carry that stupid thing any longer so I have to get rid of it.

Chasing air chasing cars and birds, delirious. I've lost.

Asise sous une cascade, j'essaie de respirer.

A million tiny clear bullets from the top corner come to take me away.

I've got rocks in my eyes when I try to close them

And in order to continue

I will painfully irrationally dispose of them.

Footsteps. I don't know who you are. I don't know who that is. I don't know anything but the cold night air

Dramatic desk lamp

Sit out you knuckle head. Dodgeball's kind of a stupid game isn't it.

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die

"What? We're having a political discussion here!" 

Today I took the bus and the trolley and came home and then left and took the trolley and the bus. And then i took the bus again.

His kind should be destroyed.

Of Angels and Angles

The Parking lot of the movie theater as an impersonal space.

You're a dress I don't ever want to take off. There's the free tea and the cheap clothes. And they hardly exist. 

They hardly exist in my head because you're filling up the space and I like it that way. 

There are angels in your angles. There's a low moon caught in your tangles.

There's a ticking

At the sill. There's a purr of a pigeon to break the still of day

There's cutting off your hair and drinking glass cokes and taking Titanic off your hands as you would say. And there's the surprises when I get home because I'm tired and you are amazing. 

A bad afternoon turned good afternoon going crazy in tiny kitchens where you're cleaning off the shelves and I'm bouncing off walls an accent on my tongue.

I'll break his glasses next time. While they're still on his face.

To my Name Twin

(Live long and prosper)

Lycanthropy

Theres a she wolf in the closettt ahhhoooh

Captivated by the sweat. drenched to the bone in flat, sweat and trash juice. what

The Lieutenant bought himself a hijacker - kept it in his home - cause and effect and two new kids were murdered side by side.

Fog street lamp distortion you're making driving a miracle. Hourglass Sensitive eyes lay down on pillows after eighty days insomnia.

They're Grabbing Teenagers!

Grocery Feast, closing ceremonies and Going At It Full Till Since Opening Day. Welcome to Castle Anthrax. 

More than once lately my ribcage has filled up with golden water.

"Mmm. Hello Tiny One. You are the future!"

Tucked away on Thunderstorm afternoons saving Time's life. 

malnourished and you've no idea how long it's been

someone's making a racket and I hope it isn't me. I've spent years wanting to live and wanting to die 

i'm standing at the top of a hill overlooking a field marked with football lines. It's drastically different from that friday night overkill (cowbells killing brain cells by the dozen). You're running running as fast as you can into a lens flare so angelic it lifts you from the ground. And all of a sudden you're liquid and in my veins and I might just last forever. As long as I know this feeling. You're small and you've got red hair and a beautiful voice and you're the best friend I've ever known. You're the best friend I've ever heard of existing. 

---

it's probably two when I decide to make the trip to the supermarket. I've spent hours with heavy limbs and heavy eyelids torn down by the storm. I'm mouthing words that I cant hear or understand. That don't exist. It's like my brain exploded out my forehead and I'm lying still with the shards of my skull and the globby bits of brain surrounding me and I'm still breathing and I can feel it all but I'm not really alive anymore. Because I can't do a thing about it. So I stand up and scoop up my mind and put it on my dresser. And I get in my car. The neon hurts my shriveled eye sockets so bad i just stand in front of the boxes for too long. But since I left my brain at home I don't know what to choose I don't know what would do the trick I don't know anything at all. So I leave it for another day.

---

what does a scanner see? Into the head? Down into the heart? Does it see into me, into us? Clearly or darkly? I hope it sees clearly, because I can't any longer see into myself. I see only murk. I hope for everyone's sake the scanners do better. Because if the scanner sees only darkly, the way I do, then I'm cursed and cursed again. I'll only wind up dead this way, knowing very little, and getting that little fragment wrong too. 

Open up and help me in

You know I fear how long it's been

sing me to sleep sing me to sleep i'm tired and i, i want to go to bed. sing me to sleep sing me to sleep and then leave me alone.

---

why am i never hungry anymore. i can't finish one slice of pizza in two different sittings. i'm just full all the time. full and homesick to my stomach. worried and tired.

the song im listening to by accident reminds me of The Diviners. lying in the bed of the truck with my face painted. the set of everywhere and nowhere. Hannah with long hair climbing under the deck talking about apocalypses and DRUMS DRUMS! What? Are those people! Alive? The walls seem to be closing in! Expeditions to Shell. And all is well.

It's light outside and I didn't even realize it. 6:23.

('a scanner darkly'; 'mickey rourke' - the relatives; 'asleep' - the smiths)

THE RELATIVES

WE ARE THE RELATIVES

One Ticket The Fuck Away From Here Please.

It's way too early after spending the whole night removing your hands. My brain is going too fast and too slow at the same time and I'm an earthquake of headache.

(please leave me alone. i want to go home. and im sick and im tired of reading the nonsense and sorting through. i need to get out of here.)

j'ignore tes avances et j'y met tant d'effort, mais je n'arrive pas a ignorer son mepris et je me cache mais il est trop tard et je suis coincee sous la roue d'un camion enrage.

Au secours sortez moi d'ici je vous en supplie.

Winter in the Summertime

A Misunderstanding. (The Violent Current)

It's looking nice. There are colors now and it's not all just torturous white. A Living Room Alive.

You're ever welcome with me any time you like, 
Let's drive to the country side, leave behind some green-eyed look-a-likes, 
So no one gets worried, no. 
So no one gets worried, no. 

I love you

I love you

Oh brother of mine.

(Fleet Foxes - Blue Ridge Mountains)