Anna Graduates

Your Protector

Clearing my throat for eight days eight days with a bloody lip in my hand, overcast skies blinking blindingly into my eye. 

What a pathetic state you are in. Copyright geeks with the drunken sweater v

ests grind mainly their teeth on this white white day.

"I keep scraping my knee in the exact same place."

And my shoulders are way too heavy now. Way too heavy to breathe and smile. My broken cartilage, my aching eye socket. The audience makes a mess for only me to clean. "I'm tired of being shattered glass and swept under the carpet. I'm tired of burning my fingers."

Where this animal comes to die, I am the Other One. the other one.

It's like I've inhaled the constant luxury of burning rubber, crushed into corners breaking my fingers off into my eyes with a sword in debt.

(As you lay to die beside me baby on the morning that you came will you wait for me, the other one, will you wait for me)

(Your Protector - Fleet Foxes)

Kicked in the Teeth

Guts and blood.

Electric

Exhaustion Soup. The crash... of eyelash to eyelash. It is 9:07am, the birds are shrieking out the aggression.

The Living Room is voided before the cash in.

Somehow the couch is damp.

Cashed.

White white face lying down dead and you play with my hair and its magic. (magic)

To my previous company: I hope I did not upset.

Negative One Seventy

There's too much to pay for. There's way too much to pay for. 

bill after bill 

or stupidity.

I'm hating you so much. I can't stand you I can't stand you and I'm a ticking time bomb.

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

EVERYONE WANTS TO BE COMFORTED

But they won't comfort you back.

This whole country is driven by the desire for attention.

ATTENTION.

ATTENTION

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock

Attention.

There is no money. There is no money. And it's turning my brain in my skull. 

The elephant said. 

"I love you and love you and will listen forever and will hug you forever. And scowl at the ones who do you wrong. And I will hold your hand and I will leave you alone. And I will quietly sit and I will drive you home."

Wishing it was a two way street

Knowing it was a one way street.

Second best, Kata's brains go tumbling out of her scull and down the stairs to the bottom where you stand. You step over them, wishing another girl needed your help instead of her.

Toe Paralysis

I like to believe those body movements of yours kick the back of my neck where the irritation canals are kept, and my sinking lips that keep the world astray stay pinned to Cobwebbed eyes pointed straight to the light of day.

He's got a gun to my brain and a cheap cassette of Janet Jackson's The Velvet Rope with fifty miles to its name. 

Creation is the ouverture.

L'antithese de mon amour pour toi

Est l'abilite de la laisser partir.

What are you saying.

Your Dirt

voices too high will break the glass right down to smithereens. carcasses and saltines. 

the choking Madeleens of early morning kindergarten, dragged by the upper arm, Salty, and "I don't think people who cry are very smart". Bunnies help, but bunnies die. God, the ugly dress up games. Horse masks out of water bottles and une Petite Fille.

Sometimes I wish you weren't so sharp. the grease that made the girls die and try to hide it. Eventually people just get exhausted of feeling hurt. Skinned right to the bone.

Dainty yellow, For ten seconds of watching you groan in the corner I would give ten cents.

.....

I was walking thinking of you.

i do love you

and it burnt me so hard my heart broke from the deep sea pressure, surrounded by the milk stain couture of traffic jam firecrackers and dirt dirt dirt. 

Trash Talk

PART I

"You were sleeping off your demons when I came home" Caught in a purple sleepover mind a bloody mess.

Concentrating trying to concentrate concentrating on your voice reads The End and I am sane for five seconds.

I turn over and laugh laugh laugh laugh into my hands it's like vomiting trash. The only good thing in my brain is that I love you I love you I love you so much both of you so so so.

Back awhile the benches turned themselves inside out and so did my body. All over my face I'm feeling salty and wet but It's Okay It's Really Okay said hands to my face outside the convenience store. "Would you like some of this whiskey?" He was a wanderer. You are a wanderer.

Okay Okay I get it. How unapologetically twisted. surrounded by fairydustmushroomsleepover cities. The trees overgrow as I walk and you talk but I cant understand what you're saying.

I'm in your doll house living room. I'm in your coffin bed.

Underneath my brain things begin to settle, finally, though reality still seems hardly better than this. In my own bed. You're skating to the coin-star and it's a pleasant thought. And they're talking and am I drifting? 

----------------------------------------------

PART II

Storming out. I want to laugh with you but you're not making eye contact. And sometimes I feel like that is the way our friendship is. Maybe I'm wrong maybe I'm right. I'm caught in a thistle world. Your broken arms wrapped around me like fire. All the wolves are getting to me.

LM LM LM LM LM LM LM LM LM

("Hast Thou Considered the Tetrapod?" - Mountain Goats)

Furthermore...

Anna saves the day

Hello Today.

Hello house Hello front door Hello living room 

Hello kitchen Hello refrigerator Hello Winstons Pack Hello Paper Hello Paper Hello Scizzors 

Hello fingers Hello Tongue.

Hello room Hello Computer Hello Always Sunny in Philadelphia Hello you, hello you hello you hello you

Saturate.

It's a nice day it's a beautiful day it's a glorious day for a walk. Fight the trees.

You-- you're still so cold. so cold. so cold. cruel. shadow chamber spy wishing danger into my eye. And I know you're reading wondering could this be me. 

Into the cool Infinite Night time. Classical. Hunger? Graduation Invitations.

EXTREME CLOSE UP of Preston Avenue Bodo's Bagels. EXTREME CLOSE UP on bugs and pine needles and twigs and stones and chips wrappers and leaves and flowers and honeysuckle and cans and bottles and secret pathways and humans with pinched faces and their saturated bright blue sweater, darling could this be. 

Cruh-Cruh yes that's it.

The impossible fuck up that is human interaction is overwhelming. 

Median picnic.

We dodge traffic to The Flat LLC. Eric Eric are you dead or are you sleeping in the flat? Too many notes on the fridge. Trolley stop. Eric's not dead. Obviously. Trolley's too tight til the corner. close up on that one slab of land held up by the wooden thingamajigger. by the tracks and 14th. The Night Time Arena, Classical music in hand under GG Allen's eye.

To Blockbuster! The Colloseum, Taking the bridge. twigs and pine needles and leaves and stones and chips wrappers. green and orange and blue. That red matching family. I do believe it would ruin their trip to have their baby spat on. Blockbuster. Forgetting the water.

McDonalds the would or would not be full swimming pool, that ended up being full. Barracks Road (not the shopping mall, though that too) mushroom land

Firetrucks. There was a black burning hole in your house - how did it happen was anyone hurt? asks the lady in her car, holding up traffic. Human Interaction by god you'll be the death of me.

On the Orange. Going Home. Phoning Jenn. Phoning Darcie. Right away, Riley's here.

bugs, the paint dripping. I cant see that you have legs. This is difficult. Theres a fuzz around you like vibrations.

The Phone Conversation is standing on my face and it hurts me. Too many of them. my hands moving too fast to light cigarettes that dont have all the time in the world. Too many too many.

It's dark in my room. My shoes are so goddam pink and this has been such a wonderful day... but things change.

Too many french fries. Maybe I'll get a mean note. About too many french fries.

Driving to the shell station. Kicked in the face yet again by the inability to converse, casually, with a human being.

Exhaustion. My lips can curl for three seconds and then i have to drop them. theres nothing good in my brain that will hold them up. The Off Season.  And i have to leave. What is this taking me down. I wish i knew that i wasn't just a passerby.

Driving home and to top it off a little bit of whyyyyy did you come back.

All this and I wish I could play piano.

Hello Computer Hello Satie Hello Hello Hello

Hello Tomorrow

Hello Today.

Hello Tomorrow.

My throat is a war zone

I'm not safe in. Goddammit why doesn't the gargling work. Goddammit. Get here Goddammit get here. I am sleeping sleeping already in my brain. my eyes wont ever shift in their sockets (plucked out by finger tips mud red) 

I am a belligerent child wrecked 

right after losing 

by dairy product genies 

with their self made man. Supercallifragilisticexpialidoshus even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious, if you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious.

("The lights are golden', off!")

Resisting the urge, dangerously low, dry ice on my skull rampant dreamer lying quick to cover tracks.

Bread Crumbs and Sticks. 

Being Eaten alive

By a troublemaker. It only just hit me that you nearly bit me alone on the swing, late.

Darling darling, cutting up paper. Cutting shit up like starting an avalanche, bruised and careful along those high wires, stunned. Cutting up paper. Waiting for the up up up.

Cylinder doll face charisma, gruesome nobodies that light you on fire at the drop of a name, they were walking lost. Except not always.

4+1=5

It's ten in the morning. You're honking about everything. Honking car horn maladresse dans ma bouche depuis the New Winter Palace Hotel in Luxor, Egypt. We stop at an alabastor factory much to your delight (you'll be taking a cut). It's hot. But it's ok.

("Go where the lights turn dark").

You've got an elegant voice. They say they can hear mine on it but I dont agree. I love you.

Suprise for you come Thursday.

The world does change, pretty fast.

He'll never know. Maybe he will. In a bit. I don't know either. But for a different reason.

GOD DAM IT please hurry the fuck up.

Bored Shitless by Ocean's Twelve

How did you know it was me?

PISSED. Because zesty dill spears are NOT in my fridge right now.

Having a KRAZIE NITEEE.

with my triscuits.

battered girlfriend, thirsty by the railroad station, running wild. Crazed. Disbelieving all the fresh signs by her senses that this

is 

reality.

thank you. you are kind. and perceptive.

Oh, she stole his phone. the minx. And now they're putting him in a duffel bag.

Speaking of duffel bags, have you heard of the old water logged sea captain. he lives in a booth at the Sad Dog Cafe (poor imaginings dreamt of that).

My favorite characters are the bickering twins.

Sun Roof Romance

Money

60

50-60

20

Trees Treees Trees

LM

"Lucy in the skyyyyyy with diieee yaaamonds"

"She's just a flirt trying to get ahead by using you! Well I'll put a stop to that! I'm going to see R.F. right noow!!"

To not be invited.

And wondering if I care.

I wonder I wonder I wonder I wonder I wonder a lot of things. Does this bother me Am I mad because im hurt.

"Oh innocence, the hand of sorrow"

Vandals vagabonds Bandits and the sweet old child molester under the train track bridge spraying more compliments than anyone.

Nothing.

I'm making up the ending the ending is extremely fucking nigh

giant broken cameras paper covered monitors (just a little bit too stupid. i have to realize)

to hating you. passive aggressive white board wars.

Happy fucking mothers day.

Make believe hard core bands: broken jokes and withered hands.

You're swinging back and forth like you've been here all along. Like you haven't destroyed someone you love. You've got painful luxury eyes I wish so much I could just enjoy the presence of. Because you're not that bad really. But you're terrible.

We're driving. "Oh my oh my. From the good news to the bad news". I'd like to be a magnet for your sorrow. Wind.

We're driving. Fast. "Bag of bones.." Magic hour. YELLLLLLLLING because i hate her. parking for ten dollar ten dollar. 

The necessary conversation. You like what I say.

8 45 creeping out and forgetting my sweater goddammit.

To bagels and businessmen. I just realized I'm hungry. 

I just really want a nice meal, you know? Like going to a restaurant and not having to get angry notes about doing the dishes or even just having to do the dishes. and just having nice food.

France, I miss you.

Goddd. Why won't you email me back sir why. Now I'm unreliable.

Chemicals in my brain! Oh my!

(Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds - The Beatles; Singin' in the Rain - Lina Lamont; Sweet Songs - Lux Perpetua; Fuck Around - Lux Perpetua; Bag of bones - Lux Perpetua)

a lovely saturday night.

forks and ice to your neck in the MOOORRRNING.

Flood

Last night there was a flood in Eric's room. All towels were used. 75% of all books were soaked. 40% of mattress was soaked.

Flashback

The last psychology class. Exam, fine, whatever. Driving home with no vision.

Pulling up only to back out. To the shell station! No vision. Drawing t-rexes on foggy windows, discussing secrets.

No vision!

Cards.

No vision. No driver's side windshield wiper. Running. soaked, umbrella and all, to the bone and it begins to flood down my sides, major puddles to jump. No vision. Running down down down into the basement.

Cards. J, Q, K. Spanking the vulnerable. No straight faces here.

Knock knock. Car broke.

Rain.

Title Card: Up to Speed

The flood in Eric's room. Seeeeeeping through. The cobwebs are gone so you can put your hats up there but the books...

Spilling twice.

Cards. J, Q, K. finishing means removing.

You made the rule, stripes.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia!

I'm gonna eat your babies bitch.

Sleepover.

Darcie got Punched in the Neck